Recently I felt urged on to “remember”. To look back at the story of my life unfolding and see the threads of God’s grace and provision in all things. It’s been wonderful and sometimes hard to remember. To see the good but also acknowledge the pain.

Nearly 6 years ago I started a blog that documented a road to a healthier heart and soul. It told stories of my overcoming and my journey towards greater wholeness and peace as a very young woman. I felt to resurrect some of these posts and share them with you. It seems that over the years the anthem of my heart and the stance of life has only become more defined and true. (I love that.)

Here is the second edition of THE THROWBACK SERIES. A reminder to stop and take stock of all that God has done in your life. Be encouraged today and in your remembering would you believe that He will do it again, in greater measure than before.

01 February 2012, Oysters

My husband’s preach was so good yesterday. I loved the part about embracing your misery to become your ministry. To summarise his thoughts we need to learn to turn our discontent and anguish into something God can use to change lives. This is the power of the gospel. I relate so much to this. I’m sure you can to. I have found myself on a humbling journey where I took my misery, the dissatisfaction of my current circumstances and allowed God to turn it around. You know we are all ministers. We can all hand our lives over to be used for the glory of God whether it’s being at home with kids, working in the marketplace, finishing high school, practicing medicine or opening an orphanage. We all have something to give and sometimes we need to take that brokenness and use it for the greater good and glory of God.

So this is where I’m at. Motherhood is hard. It’s real life hard work. Most days I feel like I am just flat out failing. The task ahead of me seems enormous. But I need to ask God to help me minister through this. I want to embrace this struggle juggle and watch God use it for greater things. Maybe I can speak into the lives of young girls who have no self worth and are desperate for someone to help them. Maybe I can be a testimony for other mothers. A life that defies the odds and inspires others to love who they are. Now that would be amazing. Dylan is right. We all have something that gets under our skin? That thing that causes us to weep, or want to rise up? What are we doing with that thing? I want God to make my misery a ministry. I pray that God would do something with where I am at and give me beauty for ashes. I had a beautiful picture while on leave last year.  We were cruising on the Knysna lagoon, eating oysters and we were told the story of how an oyster makes a pearl. It all starts with a grain of sand that gets somewhat stuck in the oysters flesh. This tiny grain of sand gets polished and polished and polished; until one day after a long time it becomes a radiant pearl. It got me to thinking that sometimes a grain of sand in a persons eye scratches and hurts, it causes redness and irritation until its taken out. The oyster however takes the same grain of sand and turns it into a pearl. I think sometimes we need to take the grain of sand and choose to be an oyster. To polish and polish a seemingly foreign and irritating thing, causing it to become something beautiful and sought after. In essence taking your misery and embracing it, polishing it, working on it until it becomes your ministry to the world. Be encouraged- and take heart. God can work all things to the good of those who love Him. (Romans 8:28)

I hope that you feel urged on in love to find a greater purpose in the pain. To embrace the polishing process, trusting that the best days are always ahead. The beautiful pearl marvelling kind of days. Do not lose heart in your season of struggle. This is not the end and greater things are always yet to come.