Dear Tes.

You’re in Lockdown. I’m sitting 2 years on and I want to encourage you in hindsight. You know what they say about hindsight. Everything is easier with this view.

I know you never saw it coming. I know despite the drone of the critics who stated you should have seen it coming that you were genuinely caught off guard. Even though you have felt blindsided, I want you to breathe in this moment and remember that God always goes before and he orders our steps and our days. It feels like a terrible mistake, but when you look back you will see the kind and mighty hand of God who has positioned you on an island in lockdown on purpose for a purpose.

Put your trust in the substance of things unseen. 

I know you’ve journeyed disappointment and shame in this time. I understand why you felt this way. Your expectations were high and your heart was open to an adventure. It’s not what you dreamt of, and I know the weight of the pain. You’ve tried to navigate peoples opinions and thoughts. You like to be liked and you have often times clung to human approval. This will be a defining moment for you. As you face your pain and overcome. I want to remind you that shame and joy can not co-exist. Gratitude breeds joy. So in every moment and in every day choose cheerfulness. Find the things that evoke gratitude and cling to them. Speak them and let your thoughts dwell on them. Do this and you will find strength that you never knew you had in this moment.

Find joy in the substance of things unseen.

I know you’ve often believed you are not enough. There have been times in your life that this lie paralysed the very essence of who you are. In this very moment. YOU ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH. By His Spirit you have been given GRACE BEYOND GRACE. Your portion is peace. Your pathway is righteousness. You have access to ALL THE THINGS heaven holds and offers the lovers of God. And so, even when your feelings fail you, telling you that you are NOT ENOUGH TODAY. Partner not with what you feel but rather with what you know to be true. The Word is a consistent and constant in this uncertain season. Cling to it and absorb all it offers you. Fill your heart with HIM and watch how you grow in the security of who you are and what you hold. 

You preached earlier this year that I AM BECAUSE YOU ARE. This is not just some random thought you had along the way. This is crucial revelation for your heart in lockdown. You exist with everything you need, even now, because of WHO HE IS. 

So again. Despite what you feel about yourself. Put your trust in the substance of things unseen.

I want to put your mind at ease today.

Your kids will be ok. And even though your heart aches for some of what they have had to face, know this they will strengthen and grow through this time. You’re raising strong and resilient little humans. This moment will not negatively impact them but rather this set back will be a set up for their future.

Talk to them often about the realities of this season. Keep reminding them of the power of scripture and prayer. Let praise and worship flood your home space and declare life over them in every moment presented to you. They’re watching you. Your marriage. Your attitude. Your responses. Your pain. What do you want them to know of you, of womanhood, of humanity in this time? Because what they see and feel of your presence will speak much louder than your words.

Put your hope in the substance of things unseen.

This moment will impact your marriage. Fight the urge fight each other. Be alert and choose to be patient and kind above everything else. Prefer Dylan and give him more grace than you feel to. Just do it. Speak graciously and passionately. Choose togetherness. Be intimate. This will keep you safe.

You’re gonna grow girl. You’re extending and strengthening. You’re being forced to dig down and dig deep. Lean into the stretch. Face your pain. Face your failures. Laugh at yourself and read some good old romantic historical fiction. Remember you have nothing to prove. Bring your whole honest and most best self to the table and that will be more than enough.

Love me… in two years time.