I haven’t written anything on this blog in over a year. There are so many moments prior to this that I should have penned my thoughts to soothe my soul, but, in the busy way I have chosen to live my life I just couldn’t seem to make this a priority space. And so, here...
Now I know most “good pastors and leaders” don’t ask WHY? They know how to power on and make sure everyone thinks they’re super human and perfect but I figure I’ve already thrown out that stereotype, so here I am pretty exposed- asking God WHY?
A few weeks back I had a conversation with someone about my inability to run like I used to. I’m experiencing some physical challenges post babies three and four and as much as my mind wants to run marathons and reach my activity goals (thanks a lot Discovery) my body...
And then this week dawned. I felt it. I felt a shift. It’s not like the busyness magically dissipated but rather I leant into taking a few moments here and there for me. Call it what you want. Maybe it’s “self love’ which is all the rage. Maybe its just a deep knowing that there are things I unapologetically can’t live without to stay healthy. Maybe I’m just fed up with the busyness that I am creating. Who knows? But I have done some strangely unique things this week.
6 months ago today I was sitting in an ICU ward with my baby girl and the uncontrollable unknown of her health and future was harrowing and dark. I’ve walked a slow and steady road of healing since then, but yet, as Christmas approaches and studies show that family and religious practices contribute more to our happiness than consumerism, seriously how profound, I feel that there is so much we could have lost if Honor was not here
Yesterday as I was driving around trying to navigate my “fix it list”, I literally felt a quiet whisper within myself say. Just do one thing at a time. Now I know right, it seems pretty obvious but it hadn’t occurred to me until that moment that maybe, just maybe, I didn’t have to have everything ‘fixed’ all at once. I would 100% survive a week or so of inconvenience and maybe life would be less frenetic and the pressure would disperse if I just approached one problem at a time and called in the right people to help me with my need.
As I woke up this morning, prepared to speak peace and confidence into my day (insert chant DO NOT WORRY, DO NOT WORRY.) I felt strangely unsettled by the worried thoughts lurking in the corners of my mind. As I looked over my cup of warm water and lemon water into our quaint garden, the future with all of exciting opportunities seemed utterly overwhelming. The day ahead was unbelievably full. And my past seemed inadequate to take me into all that I needed for tomorrow. I felt worried and I hadn’t even stepped out my house. But isn’t this how most of us start and even end the day?
Empathy calls for us to adjust our view and step into someone else’s shoes. We may get hurt in the process. The risks are high. The return is often low but somehow I think if we all did our part to choose empathy within our lives and in our spheres of influence we would see a different world. I wish I could tell you that you flick a switch on and it all works. Sorry. It’s not that easy. It starts in our own hearts and the journey is personal and unique for us all.
Ask yourself this question, What would you do today if you knew you wouldn’t fail? Think about it. Lean into your hearts desires. Then go for it. Most of the time we don’t move forward because we are scared of failing. Of getting hurt. Of losing.