Our daughter Honor has to go and have what we are hoping is a very quick and routine biopsy done on what we are trusting is just a virus in a lymph node on her neck. I say “hope” and “trust” because I don’t know the exact outcome yet. And let’s be honest for a moment, when your doctor sends you to see a surgeon and there’s talk of 90% virus and 10% lymphoma or leukemia you don’t leave feeling elated and care free.
And so over the past few days I have walked around with this sick feeling in my stomach. There is nothing I can do to speed this up or make it go away, we just have to walk through the process one step at a time. And so as I am walking I find myself so comforted by the Holy Spirit. The spirit of God, here on earth, reminding me every so often that He is right beside me. That He sees my worry but will pull me through those feelings. That He knows my need to have control but rather embraces me as I learn to trust. He’s brought me friends to hug me. People to pray with me and today He dropped a word from heaven that I can cling to NO MATTER what this all looks like in the future.
So be content with who you are, and don’t put on airs. God’s strong hand is on you; he’ll promote you at the right time. Live carefree before God; he is most careful with you.
1 Peter 5:6-7 (MSG)
Now there is a lot of gold in this scripture and so much that I can use towards many areas of my life but what held me close this morning and whispered tenderly into my aching mamma heart is HE IS MOST CAREFUL WITH YOU.
He’s careful with me. The NIV says it like this “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”
He cares for me. This moment in time is not made easier by IT’S GOING TO BE OK! but rather by the inherent knowing that God cares. He deeply cares for my heart. And I feel it and know it. In a weird and super spiritual way I feel him cradling my heart and tenderly leading me through. And this is strangely comforting.
And so what I wanted to say outright today is that when we feel these things that we feel we need to know deep within us that God does not judge our weakness and demand we put on a brave face. He cares for us. In our anxiety He loves us perfectly and casts out all fear. In our pain he lifts the burden with His very hand. In our suffering and confusion He stills our craziness with perfect peace. WE CAN LIVE CAREFREE BECAUSE HE CARES – HE’S CAREFUL WITH US.
No matter what you may be facing there is nothing that goes unnoticed by Him. He sees every tear and every thought. He sees and knows and cares deeply. And this makes me smile and gives me courage for what tomorrow will hold. (Insert big deep breath).